I recently came across a quote that stuck with me while delivering our Building Resilience in You – Helping you to THRIVE workshop. It goes like this:
“It’s okay to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.”
Rob Gilbert
This phrase really struck a chord with me, especially when it comes to managing stress and anxiety.
We all experience those jittery, uneasy feelings from time to time – it’s part of being human. But the key is learning how to channel those feelings in a way that works for us, not against us.
The Impact of Cognitive Distortions on Stress
When we’re stressed, our minds can play some pretty nasty tricks on us. We fall into these thinking traps or “cognitive distortions” that can blow our worries way out of proportion. It’s like having a swarm of butterflies causing chaos in our stomachs. But by learning to spot and reframe these distortions, we can train our butterflies to fly in formation. That sounds quite special, doesn’t it?
So, what are some of these pesky thinking distortions?
Here are a few common ones:
- All or Nothing (Black and White Thinking): It’s either perfect or it’s a total disaster. No in-between.
- Over Generalisation: One bad event means your whole life is doomed.
- Filtering Out the Positives: Focusing on the negatives and ignoring the good stuff.
- Catastrophising: Turning minor hiccups into full-blown catastrophes in your mind.
- Emotional Reasoning: Believing your emotions are the ultimate truth.
- Labelling: Slapping a negative label on yourself or others based on a single thing.
- Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking without proof.
- Fortune Telling: Predicting doom and gloom in your future.
- Personalisation: Taking everything personally, even things out of your control.
- Unreal Ideal: Setting impossibly high standards for yourself with a lot of “shoulds” and “musts.”
Spotting these distortions is the first step to managing stress. Once you catch a thinking trap, you can start to challenge and reframe it. Try to remember that a thought is not a fact. Don’t believe everything you think. Just because a thought pops into your head doesn’t mean it’s true!
Strategies for Aligning Your Butterflies and Enhancing Resilience
So, how do you get those butterflies in formation?
Here are some tips to try, little by little:
- Practice Mindfulness: Notice your thoughts without judging them. Just noticing can take away their power.
- Challenge Your Thoughts: Ask yourself, “Is this based on facts or feelings?” Look for evidence for and against your thinking.
- Consider Other Perspectives: How might someone else see this situation? Is there another way to look at it?
- Focus on the Present: Worrying about the future or dwelling on the past fuels distortions. Bring your focus back to the here and now.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with compassion and understanding. Everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.
- Celebrate Your Wins: Take time to recognise your achievements and strengths, no matter how small they seem.
By trying out these strategies bit by bit, you can start to align your butterflies and handle stress more effectively. Progress is what matters, not perfection. Every small step you take to recognise and reframe thinking distortions is a step towards greater resilience and wellbeing.
Your Partner in Stress Management and Resilience Building
At The Thrive Team, we understand how tough managing stress can be. Whether it’s through one-on-one coaching or our transformative workshops, we’re here to help you and your team to get those butterflies flying in formation. If you’d like to find out more, let’s talk.
Remember: It’s okay to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation!
