Strength through openness
The traditional image of male leadership has long emphasised stoicism, unwavering confidence, and emotional restraint. In boardrooms and on factory floors across industries, many men have learned to present an impenetrable exterior, never showing doubt, acknowledging struggle, or revealing personal challenges. At The Thrive Team, we’ve observed how this approach, once considered essential to effective leadership, is increasingly recognised as limiting both personal wellbeing and organisational success.
The strength in openness
What appears counterintuitive is actually supported by considerable research. Demonstrating appropriate vulnerability strengthens rather than weakens leadership effectiveness. When leaders, particularly male leaders who may have been culturally conditioned against emotional expression, allow themselves to be genuinely seen, acknowledge uncertainties, and share challenges, several powerful shifts occur.
Trust deepens as team members recognise authentic humanity rather than a performance facade. Innovation prospers when leaders can admit they don’t have all the answers. Psychological safety grows, allowing everyone to bring their whole selves to work. Sustainable performance becomes possible when leaders model the balanced approach to work and wellbeing.
Research by Dr. Brené Brown found that the willingness to show up without certainty of outcome, the essence of vulnerability, is fundamental to meaningful connection and effective leadership.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome”
Brené Brown, “Daring Greatly”
What vulnerability is (and isn’t) in leadership
Many male leaders resist vulnerability because they fundamentally misunderstand what it means in professional contexts. Effective vulnerability is not emotional incontinence, inappropriate personal disclosure, or abdicating responsibility. Instead, it’s calibrated openness that builds connection while maintaining appropriate boundaries.
Vulnerability might look like acknowledging when you don’t have an answer rather than bluffing through. It could mean sharing relevant personal experiences that inform your leadership approach. It often involves talking openly about challenges you’re working through professionally.
The distinction matters because inauthentic displays of “strategic vulnerability”, are quickly recognised as manipulative rather than connective.
The cost of invulnerability for men
The toll of maintaining invulnerability is particularly significant for men. According to the Mental Health Foundation, men are far less likely than women to seek professional support for mental health challenges, with only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies being for men.
This reluctance to acknowledge struggle doesn’t just harm individual wellbeing, it impacts organisations through presenteeism, diminished creativity, disconnection from colleagues, and ultimately, talent loss.
For many men, the workplace represents their primary social context, making healthy connections there particularly important for overall wellbeing.
Creating space for male vulnerability
At The Thrive Team, we work with organisations to create environments where appropriate vulnerability becomes possible for all leaders. Through our leadership coaching programmes, we’ve developed several approaches that prove particularly effective:
- Leadership modelling makes a profound difference. When senior male leaders demonstrate comfort with appropriate vulnerability, it gives others permission to do the same. Our executive coaching services often focus on helping senior leaders develop this capacity first, creating ripple effects throughout their teams.
- Normalising conversations about challenges helps, too. Regular team check-ins, where both successes and difficulties are discussed, create space for vulnerability without singling anyone out. Our training and development provide structured frameworks for these conversations.
- Men often respond well to vulnerability framed as effectiveness rather than emotional expression. Discussing how acknowledging limitations actually improves decision-making and team performance can provide a pragmatic entry point. Our leadership coaching and training can specifically address this by providing evidence-based approaches.
Balanced leadership
The future belongs to leaders capable of integrating traditional leadership strengths with the vulnerability that enables genuine connection. This integration isn’t about abandoning qualities like decisiveness or confidence but complementing them with openness and authenticity.
When leaders find this balance, they not only enhance their effectiveness and wellbeing but also create sustaining organisational cultures where everyone can contribute their best work. Organisations that support this evolution see measurable gains in innovation, talent retention, and sustainable performance.
The journey toward more vulnerable male leadership requires patience, as cultural conditioning runs deep. Yet the rewards, both personal and organisational, make this one of the most important leadership evolutions of our time. By supporting men in developing this capacity for appropriate openness, organisations don’t just improve wellbeing but unleash potential that remains locked away when vulnerability feels unsafe.
This Men’s Health Month, consider how your organisation supports vulnerability in leadership, particularly for male leaders. If you’d like to explore how to create environments where balanced leadership can thrive, contact us to discuss our leadership development, executive coaching, and team training services.
